Daytona 500

I just returned from the 50th Running of the Daytona Beach 500 International NASCAR race. It is not the first time I have been to a NASCAR race, but it has been 20 years. I went with Fast Forrest, With the NASCAR Report, from NEWSRADIO1620AM, and we had a ball.

We were "live from the infield" at the biggest auto race in the world, and reported back to Pensacola many times during the weekend.

I am a people watcher. I must tell you that I saw a lot of people, about 235,000 of them. With a two and a half-mile oval track that is the largest lighted sports arena in the entire world, there were a lot of people there. I have been to two goat dunkings, three Super Bowls, a rat killing, one world fair, and watched a monkey do strange things to a basketball, but I ain't never seen that many people in one place at one time. Most of them didn't even come for the race! I watched for four days and I'm certain that 65 percent of them didn't even know the big race on Sunday even began, and they couldn't stand up when it was over! They just came to "be there!" To be at the place it was happening, and say that they were there. I'm not making this up, half of them watched it on their TVs in their motor homes and outside set-ups.

If you think that this NASCAR thing is a redneck event, you got some catching up to do. First, of all, I counted over 500 motor homes and I didn't see one that was under a half a million dollars in value. The airport next door had to clear acres of land to park the private jets that flew in for the weekend. The Truck race on Friday night was like no pick'um trucks I had ever seen. Not one of them had a dog box in the back bed of it! They didn't have any mud flaps and one truck went over 208.65 mph in the back straightaway! Now that's a pick up truck! The ticket for just the Sunday big event was $165 and that was for a seat in Jacksonville! For the three races on the weekend, the price was $355 ... that did include the free kiss, however! Many of these "fans" go to the race every weekend, wherever it is ... how do they afford that?

The Holiday Inn Express next to the track had rooms going for $2,000 a night. I'm not making that up. We stayed at the Ocean Spray Inn on Atlantic Blvd, and our room had two single beds with one sheet each, a patio door that didn't work, two face towels, a microwave that didn't shut off, one bar of soap, wrapped, (I do so like the soap in a box, it's classier), free mold and a three-inch roach that had been dead since the first race in 1959. The swimming pool had holes in it and the clouds could be seen through the ceilings! I ain't making this up!That cost us $300 a night and we were happy to get it! It was next door to a place that sold ladies' nighties named "BUBBAS," and I'm not making that up either; I got photos to prove it. The average hotel room cost there is $79 a night, but during Race Weeks, the average is $488, so we were way below average. The desk clerk was from Hungary, and told us her name was "nothing," so I called her that all weekend. By the time we checked out, everyone in the motel was calling her that. I think she liked it. The day clerk was a big old boy that weighed about 600 pounds,(really) and slept sitting up on a stool at the desk every time we went by it. You could hear him snoring in the parking lot. Once Fast Forrest yelled at him wanting to see if we could get some towels that were bigger than a postage stamp, and he came to and fell off his stool. I didn't think he was going to get up, but we clapped for him and urged him on and he finally in about five minutes, he made it! When he stood up, we all clapped and told him we were proud of him. We never did get the towels!

The Golden Anniversary of the Daytona 500 was a big deal. The car of tomorrow was fast, safe, and they all look alike, it was boring. We didn't have a wreck or even a caution flag until the 161st lap! We had great seats right on top of the garages where the cars were kept and worked on and across from the start finish line. My girl, Trisha Yearwood sang the national anthem, Chubby Checker mimed the Twist, Brooks and Dunn looked at Sly and the Family Stone like they had never seen anything like that before and Michael McDonald sang "Taking it to the Street!" to kick things off.

They went fast and turned left for 200 laps, me and Forrest drank two cases of beer, got sunburned, looked at "heavenly bodies" all day, yelled for our drivers and teams and generally had a blast. It was two over-50 old men, on a mission. We wrote "I love you" in the sand of the beach we went for a drive on, just so the girls would know we were thinking of them, got sober and drove home!

All in all, it was one of the grandest times of my life, but I missed "Lishous, and next time, I'm taking her. I'd like to see Bubba try and stay asleep on that stool when she walks by in those Tony Stewart short shorts and halter top I brought back for her...ain't no Way! He'd never get up this time, I'm certain of it!

I know I didn't! Just thought you'd like to know...