Bubba's got wishes for the new year

It seems that the New Year is all about resolutions for most folks. I don't like resolutions. They seem to me to be hung up somewhere between a wish and hope. I don't hope for things and while I wish for them at times, I don't find them resolute. Resolutions are like speed limits, everyone will push them just as far as they can and most will break them. I have some wishes for the new year.

I wish my pants would stop creeping up towards my chest.

I wish my wife would love me like my dog does.

I wish FSU would win 10 games a year again.

I wish the New Orleans Saints would decide if they are a good football team again or not. I can take it either way, but this not being sure is killing me.

I wish I could spend just 10 minutes with my mother again.

I wish Americans would start believing that we have won the war in Iraq, and begin to act like it.

I wish we would treat the Vietnam vets the same way we have treated the Iraq vets.

I wish I could remain alive and not have any more birthdays.

I wish my book "Who's Your Bubba" would finally make the bestsellers' list.

I wish "Bubba Up in the Morning" would be a radio show that everyone would want to listen to.

I wish all my friends would get fatter than me.

I wish I could eat ice cream three times a day and never gain an ounce.

I wish Hillary Clinton had married O.J.

I wish George Carlin would shut up and retire before he becomes as bad as he was great.

I wish my enemies would love me, then I would know who they are.

I wish I had never eaten that first chocolate bar.

I wish sushi came fried in cornmeal batter.

I wish I was ambidextrous. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

I wish my corvette would stop getting smaller, I can hardly get in it now.

I wish Bill Clinton would come out and say what he is really thinking. Then people would just spit on him all day long.

I wish that the presidential election process would be one week long and no speeches.

I wish that time would stand still and then I could finally get a grip on myself.

Enjoy the new year and may all your emails be private.

Just thought you'd like to know..