Married life

I like being married. I just can't "live with" a woman, never could. Maybe it is because I was raised in a time when that was sin. Maybe it is because I don't like the uncertainty of it all, and maybe it is because I'm just an old style moral man.

When I asked 'Lishous to marry me, it was a long time coming. I had run away from her for three years and just didn't see it working. While I was married to Bubba, Jr. and 'Lil Bubba's momma for over 20 years, I had convinced myself that "I just wasn't good at it!" It ain't easy being married. I keep waiting for it to get easier, but it just seems that every time I get it about right, something happens that just sets me back to my days when I considered a marriage license to be like a hunting and fishing license. It should expire every year and be renewed only when both parties agree to it and if you don't agree to renew it; you get to keep all you stuff and not just half of it, or less! I have learned that one the hard way. Any woman that will take your dog, will cut you. I was probably better off.

Basically, my wife is immature. I'll be in the tub taking my bath and she will come in and sink my boat! It is a major adjustment for me to learn to live with another woman, because I was raised by wolves in Southern Mississippi. I just don't get it, but I keep trying. I feel that my second marriage has finally prepared me for my first one! However, I ain't never doing it again. It is just too hard to adjust. 'Lishous still wants to talk in bed, but we have been married for over five years now and I'm running out of things to say. Folks say that marriage is a contract. That ain't so.Contracts come with warrantees. When something goes wrong with my wife I can't take her back to Maine and drop her off somewhere to be fixed; I have to try and figure it out myself. But, I am loved. She understands me. I was on the way home last week and wanted to buy her some flowers. The guy on the street that usually sells them was out, so I bought her a bag of potatoes instead. She put them in a vase and kissed me, I like that in a woman.

To Bubba a mixed marriage is one between a man and a woman. They are all mixed up, some get out and some just fight it out to the bitter end. I'm gonna fight this one out. I can't ever do it again. I don't want to; I love her, even if times I want to strangle her. Like last week, when she told one of her girlfriends that she is not worried about ever looking unattractive for me. She said, "By the time I have gained enough weight for him to not like the way I look, his eyesight will be so bad, he won't notice!" Now that sounds like a real plan from the beginning to me. I remember when I said "Until death do us part"…at the time I didn't know I was actually setting a goal!

Just love 'em, you can't understand 'em, guys. Find a friend you can talk to and laugh it all off. Life is way too short to start all over every few years or so. And it is a real blessing when you find that one special person that you can irritate the hell out of for the rest of your life.

Just thought you'd like to know…