Island slang

Slang is a part of the American setting. We cant' escape it. I don't like it, but every part of the country I have been to and that is "All" of them, has its own slang. The word "Booger" just doesn't mean the same thing in New York City as it does here.

We have our own slang here on the Redneck Riviera as well. Over the years, I have learned, added to and selected our Island Slang. It is well known by my island friends, but we all need to learn it as it is sometimes used on "mainlanders" and other folks.

Our Slang language refers to many types of people. Here is a list of the words you need to learn to be able to communicate with others here on "da Beach."

BLAME BURSTERS: are the people that react to every problem we have with "blame shifting," shifting responsibility to someone else and never take any themselves. You will find them in government a lot. They are like cloud bursts of acid rain on us all.

SEA GULLS: a person that flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. They are in all bars, usually have red noses, have not read a newspaper in years and have an opinion on everything.

ASSLANDERS: This is self explanatory. They come from everywhere at all times.

CUBER: This is a person that spends the entire work day in a cubicle, then comes to the island to relax and doesn't know how to. They can usually be seen with milk white legs and socks on with their thong sandals. Cuber is not a redneck trying to say Cuba!

PRAIRIE DOGS: These are people you see popping their heads up from bars and around corners when Bubba slaps somebody upside the head for using bad language in front of his woman. They will scatter easily and have a lot of hair on their bodies.

STRESS GUPPY: is a person that seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. Many of them get drunk on one beer and have enjoyed poor health most of their lives.

ADULT DAY CARE PEOPLE: can be found in the bar parking lots at 10 a.m., waiting for the bars to open. They have no life, and if we didn't have the bars, they would all be in nursing homes. They also smell like stale beer and cigarettes, 24-7!

SAND SEEKERS: are always looking for whiter sand. You can hear them say things like, "That sand is not as white as the sand in the Sugar Bowl," or "Why is the sand not white today?" As if it has ever mattered. They also smoke milkweed and many are vegetarians.

WATER WANTERS: A person that is landlocked in the middle of the island and spends a lifetime trying to get "on the water" instead of being happy walking 300 steps to either side of the island and being in the water! Many of them wear horn rimmed glasses and eat seaweed on their salads.

SHELLERS: These are Tourons, a mix between Tourist and Moron, that come to go "shellling." They walk the beach with heads bent, stick and net in hand, hoping for that one shell that they can frame or a lot of broken ones that always end up on the back of the bathroom commode. They are lost souls who have not had intimate relations in years and buy a lot of adult toys.

LOCALS: have the courage to live here all the time.

Just thought you'd like to know ...