Getting guests to a wedding site... and back home again
By CARLEY RONEY Scripps Howard News Service

Q:We really want to have our wedding at a site two hours away from where we live, but some of our family members and guests have been grumbling about the location. They say it's too far to drive, but too close for them to get a hotel. Is it really that unreasonable?

A: When you consider how late guests might be getting home, a two-hour drive is definitely a bit of a haul. But it's hardly a lost cause, and you have a couple of options for dealing with disgruntled guests.

If the majority of your guests are coming from the same place, you could set up a few shuttle buses to pick them up before the ceremony and bring them all back at the same time (allowing them to snooze on the way home if they want, and alleviating some of their driving worries). If you plan to do this, be sure to take reservations, so you know exactly who will be making use of your shuttles.

The other option is to block rooms at inexpensive hotels. If it's a good deal, the wedding guests may prefer having a place to crash for the night. Talk to a few of your closer friends and family to try to gauge which sounds like the better alternative. Then be sure your guests know their options -- update the info on your wedding Web page, or send it through the grapevine more informally by recruiting your families and wedding party to make sure your guests get in the know. Strike a balance between

dancing, dining at reception

Q:My mother doesn't want us to start the dancing until after dinner -- she says it's tacky to have people dance straight through the meal. But I'm worried that the reception will be boring if we wait that long to start the music, and that people might even skip out early. How can we compromise?

A: Often a parent's priority for a party is civilized conversation over delicious food, whereas the bride and groom are looking forward to seeing their friends cut loose to the sounds of Justin Timberlake.

If you're having a large sit-down dinner that may cut into dance time, one way to strike a middle ground is to start the dancing early in the reception, but to limit it to the time in between courses. That way, everyone will get on the dance floor straight away.

Just make sure to have your band or DJ mute the tunes (or at least play soft dinner-appropriate music) when food is served so everyone will be seated to enjoy the meal.

Or, you can split up the music. Have your band or DJ play a little dance-invoking music toward the end of the cocktail hour and before the first course is served; then, have them start the music back up after dinner.

With either of those strategies, you and your mom should find that there's plenty of time for both fine dining and dancing.

Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com.