Find dignified care giving
BY LINDA K. BOWMAN Family and Consumer Services, UF/IFAS Santa Rosa County Extension Agent

Maintaining the dignity of seniors and their caregivers is a common topic of conversation in almost every home with seniors. When the changes of aging require increasing dependence on others for help with basic care, a sense of dignity and respect is sometimes the first casualty.

"Dignity" is defined as "the quality of being worthy of esteem and respect." It includes self-respect as well as respect from others. Desire for respect and dignity are among our most basic human needs. These needs don't decrease as we become ill or less able to be independent in our daily tasks. In fact, our need for dignity may increase during these times.

Growing children look forward to the time when they can live on their own, making their own decisions and being independent from others. Most adults are proud and protective of their ability to be selfsufficient. They often see it as a weakness, or a burden, to have to depend on others for assistance. Of course, all of us depend on others to some extent or other throughout life, but the growing dependence of many seniors can be a difficulty transition- both for seniors and their caregivers.

Maintaining a sense of dignity and respect in caregiving is very important, for several reasons. In many cases, seniors' physical abilities decline but their mental capabilities are as sharp as ever. These seniors remain keenly aware of being treated with disrespect.

Even in cases of changes in mental functioning such as dementia, a senior may retain a sense of the need to protect her dignity. When caregivers fail to respect a senior's dignity, the senior can lose his motivation to work to maintain his physical and mental fitness. Losing that motivation can hasten declines in many abilities.

Here are some recommendations to help maintain dignity in your caregiving situation:

Respect his privacy, physically and emotionally. Close the door when you help him dress or use the bathroom. Knock before opening a closed door. Don't discuss confidential information with other people without his permission. Don't drop in unannounced- call first.

Respect her right to make choices. Making choices gives us a sense of control in life. Let her decide what and when to eat, for example, if she is able. If her choice seems silly to you, consider why it may be important to her.

If his preferred choices could be dangerous, such as refusing important medication, try to negotiate a compromise. For example, if you are worried about him taking walks alone, arrange for someone to walk with him.

Be patient and calm. If a senior has trouble hearing for example, face her when you speak and slow down. Repeat and clarify when necessary, without getting impatient or patronizing.

Make short lists of daily activities with input from your senior. Check them off together when completed.

Ask for her ideas and opinions. Include her in conversation- don't act as if she is not present.

Respect your senior's spiritual beliefs, an important source of dignity and selfrespect for many people.

No matter how helpless a senior may become, don't reverse parent-child roles. Treating a senior like a child can crush any remaining feelings of dignity and independence.