I like the zoo. We've got a nice one here in Gulf Breeze. While people might think that the only thing we have in a zoo on the Redneck Rivera would be an irate Vermonter, a possum and a cow, we got other things to!!

The zoo is one of the favorite places for me and 'Lishous to go and kill time. My uncle Forrest, from up Nawth, was in the woods in Navarre a few weeks ago and saw one of the peacocks that escaped during hurricane Ivan. He told me he thought that the "quail" down here were very large, indeed. It was just wandering around the woods, happy and content. But most of the animals are back in their cages and looking at us, just waiting for another hurricane and a chance to visit beautiful downtown Midway.

I thought what it would look like if you were in a really bad zoo, one that was a tourist trap, not a quality zoo like ours. I have seen some bad ones in my travels. I was at a zoo once where the stripes began to peel off the zebras due to the heat. I am never comfortable at the zoo. I always feel like the monkeys are making fun of me when I'm not looking. I know they make fun of 'Lishous, cause I feed them extra when they do.

We got a hippo here that can stand still and chew his cud for over three days. We used to have a cow like that back in Fontaineblue, Miss. I would throw rocks at it just to see if it had died standing up.

I like the snake exhibit as well. They remind me of my first wife. She used to lie in the sun and bask, slither away when I approached her and could swallow an entire bottle of Vodka at one time while it was still in the bottle!! The alligator is sad looking, but then if you are the mascot of the University of Florida, life has dealt you a rough life. Go 'Noles.

The giraffe is cool as well. I have never seen a longer tongue on any living creature. If I had a tongue like that I could kiss 'Lishous from across the room. I could eat a gallon of ice cream in one lick! I could lick my self anywhere I wanted to. I'm convinced that the only reason animals are more content than humans is because they can lick themselves all over. If humans could do that, I'm certain it would put an end to violent crime in 30 days.

So, go to the zoo. The weather is perfect for it and they are back in business full time with all repairs. Tell them T. Bubba sent you and you will get a free smile!!

Just thought you'd like to know…..