Weekly Best Bets

Thursday

7 p.m. on ABC

Ugly Betty: The old "rent a sweetie so the parents don't know I'm gay" story line has been done, but if any show can make it fresh, it's this one. Betty (America Ferrera) is drafted into pretending to be Marc's (Michael Urie) girl when his mom (guest star Patti LuPone) visits ... and the whole Suarez clan has to play along. Speaking of moms, Claire (Judith Light) makes a decision about the magazine's leadership in the new episode "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Friday

7 p.m. on FOX

House: House (Hugh Laurie) and his team try to pin down the source of a teenager's (guest star John Patrick Amedori) poisoning. They think they've found it, then another youth (guest star Ulysses Lee) with seemingly nothing in common with the other boy comes in with the same symptoms. At the clinic, House treats an 82-year-old woman (guest star Shirley Knight) with an overactive libido. Lisa Edelstein also stars in "Poison."

8 p.m. on FOX The Wedding Bells: Role playing? Sounds like fun! Well ... . In the new episode "The Fantasy," a counselor suggests that Jane (Teri Polo) try role playing with Russell (Benjamin King) instead of having an affair. But she's not thrilled with the role he wants her to play: Annie (KaDee Strickland). Speaking of roles, Sammy (Sarah Jones) disapproves of a bride's desire to dress as Dulcinea, the hooker from "Don Quixote," but has an even bigger problem with the groom.

Saturday

6 p.m. on USA

Meet the Parents: An enormous hit in theaters, this very funny 2000 comedy plays off the fears many people have about meeting their prospective in-laws. That's the plight faced in this case by Ben Stiller's character, who immediately runs into trouble with his beloved's (Teri Polo) father (Robert De Niro), a supposed florist who actually turns out to be a CIA veteran. Blythe Danner also stars.

Sunday

8 p.m. on ABC

Desperate Housewives: If there's one thing the casting suits at this show are good at, it's moms. Lesley Ann Warren, Carol Burnett, Shirley Knight and Linda Dano have all done memorable guest turns as moms, stepmoms and mothers-in-law. In this episode, Bree (Marcia Cross) meets her newest mother-in-law, played by the great Dixie Carter. Speaking of motherhood, poor Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) returns to modeling but can only get "mom" gigs. Hey, it's a young biz.

Monday

8 p.m. on FOX

24: A CTU operative's work is never done. The investigation into the nuclear threat intensifies, and the administration tries to stay on top of the situation despite not being entirely sure who's on top. Gredenko and Fayed (Rade Sherbedgia, Adoni Maropis) discuss their next move, while Jack and newcomer Mike Doyle (Kiefer Sutherland, Rick Schroder) undertake a grueling field mission. Powers Boothe also stars in the new episode "Day 6: 8:00PM - 9:00PM"

9:01 p.m. on NBC

The Black Donnellys: No good deed goes unpunished, as Tommy (Jonathan Tucker) learns when he joins Jimmy and Kevin's (Thomas Guiry, Billy Lush) bookmaking operation to save his friend Maxwell (John Lavelle) from getting busted for nonpayment. Then he ends up playing enforcer when he gets played by his pal. Jenny (Olivia Wilde) learns the truth about her father's (Kevin Conway) health in the new episode "Run Like Hell."

Tuesday

8 p.m. on FOX

House: The new episode drought comes to an end with a real doozy that has House (Hugh Laurie) ailing, Cameron and Chase (Jennifer Morrison, Jesse Spencer) getting horizontal in the hospital - yes, we mean together - and a patient (guest star Marc Blucas) who shows up in House's dreams before they meet in person. He's a Marine suffering from what looks like fatigue related to his service in Iraq, but things quickly go from bad to worse in "Top Secret."

Wednesday

8 p.m. on CBS

Criminal Minds: They're just fantasies ... or are they? In "Sex, Birth, Death," a young man (Anton Yelchin) confides to Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler) that he's having fantasies about murdering prostitutes and fears he'll become a serial killer. But Reid and his colleagues suspect it's already happened when several hookers are killed for real.

Mel Harris ("thirtysomething") and Jessica Tuck ("Judging

Amy") also guest star.

9 p.m. on NBC

Medium: That old saying about possession being nine-tenths of the law may not be true, but possession may help Devalos (Miguel Sandoval) crack a

case involving a friend. We're talking possession of

the demonic kind; Allison (Patricia Arquette)

is having dreams about a young woman

in this condition, which may hold the key

to Devalos' friend's death. Joe (Jake

Weber) seeks more responsibility at work in the new episode "Whatever Possessed You."