My wife 'Lishous was making a breakfast that included fried eggs for me a few days ago. I burst into the kitchen and said, "Hey careful there darlin'," "Whoa, be quick!"

Then I yelled "Hey, put some more butter under those eggs, they are gonna burn," "Oh, my God you are cooking two at a time, don't you know that can be dangerous?

"That's way too many to cook at once, and watch how you flip that spatula around, you are going to put somebody's eye out with that thing!"

I got down right over her shoulder, and said, "Turn them over, TURN THEM OVER now or you are going to miss the opportunity!

"We NEED more BUTTER, why don't you put some of that PAM stuff on them as well.

"They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! ...BE CAREFUL, MAN YOU BARELY BROKE THAT YOLK! CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to add pepper to them. You know you always forget to add the pepper to them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" Then I just fell onto the floor in a heap of Bubba!

She turned and looked at me with that look on her face that my dog gets when I show him a card trick!

She finally found her tongue and yelled at me: "What in the Mississippi Muck is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Don't you know that I am perfectly capable of frying a couple of eggs?

I got up off the floor, smiled and calmly said, "I just wanted to show you what it sounds like when I'm driving."

I got within two feet of the table and she served me the eggs... right upside the back of my head. I had two eggs sliding down my neck into my shirt and they were still hot as hell. I didn't care. It took everything I had in me to act like it wasn't happening.

I sat down, took the two eggs off my neck and handed them to Old Rolex. He ate them and turned his face back up to me as if to say, "Bubba, do you want me to go over and bite her for you?" I told him "NO, it would take you all day to get the taste out of your mouth!" Then I began to read the paper. Nothing else was ever said that morning and I had a piece of white bread and some stewed okra for breakfast, but it was worth it.

I got up, smiled unto myself and went to the refrigerator and wrote on the Magic Marker Board: "SCORE ONE FOR THE BUBBAS OF AMERICA." I won't be here when she reads it and that is a good thing.

Just thought you'd like to know....