Bubba's Beach
How come?

T. "Bubba" Bechtol

When I was a kid, I used to have a pat answer to anything that was said to me that included something I did not want to do. I said, "How Come?" As I got older I discovered many answers to "How Come?," some of them I did not want to know!

My first wife asked me once "Why don't we get married?" I said, "How Come?" She answered "Because we are in love." It was news to me, I was not aware of it yet. Hell, little did I know? I wonder "How Come", just as much these days, but I don't say it out loud because I don't want my wife to say, "BECAUSE!" The answer "because" is not an answer, but then 'Lishous always gives me non-answers. She knows she is doing it, but it is better than lying to me. I wonder just "How Come" it is that life has certain certainties that never seem to change. Here are a few "How Come's" that I'm sure you have experienced as well.

How come when you have jelly or peanut butter all over your fingers from making a big PBJ, your nose will begin to itch? How come when you drop anything it never lands good side up? How come when you do something stupid, there are always more people watching than when you do something really great? How come when you dial a wrong number on the telephone, you never get a busy signal? How come when I am checking out at the register at any store where there are long lines, and I change lines, the line I moved from begins to move faster? How come when I start a shower the phone rings, even at 3 a.m.? How come when I'm with someone I don't want to be seen with, almost every one I know sees us together? How come when I take my car to the garage and try to show them what is not working, it always works perfect? How come when I get a really bad itch, it is always in a place that I can't get to without a broom or a best friend? How come when I go to the theatre the people with "irritable bowl syndrome" always sit in the middle of the row? How come when the preacher really bears down on a point of sin, I feel like he has been reading my mail?

How come when two 350 pound men get on an airplane they always have seats right next to each other? How come children think that a phone call is enough on Christmas, Father's Day or Anniversaries? How come nothing is impossible if you are an idiot? How come every time I find something that I really like, when I go to buy another one, they have stopped making it? How come Bill Clinton is still the biggest money raiser in the Democratic Party? How come Democrats let him raise money for them, have they no sense of shame? How come Republicans can't seem to understand that we can't spend ourselves into a balanced budget? How come the

Independent Party is not making a big splash, now that every one is fed up with the other two parties? How come the police can never seem to help you until after the crime has taken place? How come Bubba never seems to understand instructions, but can put together anything with a hammer and enough duct tape? And finally, how come North Korea is still on the map?

Just thought you'd like to know...